Resurgent - Alternate Allegiant Ending
by Elabetareader
Summary: Alternate Allegiant ending that Tris survives. Only the bureau workers know she is alive. But the real questions are: is she the only one alive? Will she be able to escape? Has Tobias already gotten over her? I'll update every chance I get (btw I LOVE long chapters! I hope you do too!)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

TOBIAS POV

The initiates come in today. The faction system had to be reinstated since we could not maintain the peace. The bureau no longer controls the city. The government is no longer controlled by a single faction, rather, each faction has two representatives who, together, compose the Board. Amar and I represent Dauntless.

No Abnegation initiate, not that I expected any. She was unique. I still see her everywhere and in everything. I don't like to talk about her in the past tense, and I absolutely hate it when people who didn't really know Tris talk about her pretend to have.

A part of me died when she did.

Last week, Zeke got a hold of old security camera footage and printed a picture of her and I. There are no pictures of Tris, at least none that I know of. She didn't live long in Dauntless, and lived pictures were considered self-indulgent in Abnegation. She is beautiful in the picture. Her eyes shine, demanding attention as they did. Her smile was bright. It was taken the moment after the rankings were revealed, a little before we kissed.

Zeke and Christina have tried to set me up on a few dates, but I never went to them. Christina and I have become close friends; I guess that's what happens when you share grief with someone.

I miss her so much. I still wish I had one more kiss, one more word, one more glance. Just one more.

-Page Break-

TRIS POV

It's been three years since I was shot, three years since I've last seen Tobias, three years since he started thinking that I'm dead, and the Bureau started experimenting on me.

A lot has happened over the years. On the one time Tobias and I 'did it', I ended up getting pregnant. I had a little boy. Bringing a child up is hard. Especially when you have to do it alone. At first, I thought he didn't stand a chance. Me getting shot like that, in normal circumstances would have, by all chances, killed the fetus, but miraculously, he survived. Raising a child sounded impossible, especially because I had no parenting skills and the person who would make me believe I could do this, wasn't here. I'm not going to lie. It was hard and sometimes it still is.

The moment he was born I noticed that he looks exactly like my Tobias, that's why I named him Toby. He is now two years old and looks more like his father than ever. He has his smile, his deep sea blue eyes, his stick-out ears, his expressions are the same, and he is quite tall. The only thing he got from me is his hair: blonde and curly.

The bureau experiments on me almost every day. I am taken from my room before Toby wakes up, and taken to another one where they put me under different simulations, in which I constantly have to watch Tobias dying, or my son being taken away from me. If I refuse to go, I either get electrically shocked, beat up, or they refuse to give me and my son food, so eventually I stopped trying to escape from it and gave in. Sometimes I feel like I'm in Erudite again when I'm not under a simulation, Toby, and I stay locked up in the same bedroom the entire day. Bound to the same four walls. I've never left the bureau again and him, out to more than a few times from the room. The only real reason why I get to keep Toby is that the serum only starts to work after a certain age, and David wants to experiment on Toby too. Yes, David. The bureau created a serum to make him remember everything, and his goal now is quite clear: he wants to torture me until my death and later, when he is older, experiment on Toby too. I will never let them hurt him; I would lose the last thing that matters to me, so I stay strong and keep fighting. As for his divergence, he will probably be one, maybe even stronger than me.

I miss Tobias. I miss him from the time I get up to the time I go to sleep. The bureau told him that I'm gone. To this day, he believes I'm dead, and it kills me. I know one of his fears was my death. David told me he scattered "my ashes" while zip lining on the choosing ceremony day. He also told me that they pulled Uriah's plug. Sometimes I doubt that he is dead, others, that I'm crazy and just really wish he were alive. It aches to think about everything. I get up from the table, and press my lips to Toby's forehead gently giving him a light kiss so I don't wake him up. His ears stick out of the covers like his father's do when he sleeps. Looking at him is so bittersweet, but it's the only thing I have left of Tobias. I go to my bed and tuck myself in. As I close my eyes, thoughts fill my head. What if Tobias has moved on? What if he is with someone else?

If he has Indeed moved on, my heart will be broken, but at least I'll know he's happy.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mommy, look," Toby says pointing to Evelyn and Marcus.

"Come on. We've gotta go," I say as I grab him and start running. Suddenly I feel a large, bruised hand grip my arm. Marcus.

"This is for your own good," he says and swings a belt.

"No!" I turn Toby away from him; out of his reach. This way the belt hits me and my skin starts to sting, but I try to shake off the feeling.

"You can't escape us," Evelyn says. As I face her, Toby disappears from my arms and appears in hers.

"Give me back my son!" I exclaim reaching for him just as tears start to form in his eyes. She blocks my try to grab him and steps back; her way of telling me that if I don't do as she wishes, she'll have no problem to permanently take him away from me. Before I can do anything, she speaks again.

"You're just a foolish girl. Even _he_ thinks so." I immediately understand she's talking about my Tobias and that gets my attention. Then it comes to me. Tobias once called me a foolish girl to protect me from Eric after I went to Erudite looking for Caleb.

"You weren't there when he said this." I step closer to her. " _You_ are the simulation" I motion to her and Marcus and they, along with Toby, Fade away.

I wake up in the experimentation room with Matthew and David present.

"You failed," I say.

"I'm not worried. We have you here for eternity, so we have all the time in the world." Matthew says and pauses. "I'll have security take you back to your room," as he says this, two guards grab my arms and start to steer me away.

"Oh and Tris." The men stop and David speaks. "I'm still waiting on that son of yours." Rage flows through me.

"You touch him, you die."

"You can't kill me. You couldn't before and you most certainly can't now," He says crossing his arms. Before I can respond, I am taken away remaining silent on the way to the room. When we arrive, I am shoved inside by the men and they leave locking the door behind them. I stumble a bit until I steady myself. Toby catches my eyes, puts his train down and smiles.

"Mommy!" He runs towards me and I pick him up, his walk is still wobbly. He gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, buddy!" I put him down own and lower myself to his level. "What have you done so far today?" I ask him.

"I played with my toy train!" He says excitedly. Matthew gave him a toy shaped like a Dauntless train. It's meant to show me where we could have been and what my life could be like. Toby loves it though. I guess it should be nice from the eyes of an innocent child.

I try to sound happy anyway as I say, "Is that so bud?" He nods in response with a beautiful smile on his face.

"I'm hungry," He says dramatically. I check the clock 12:40pm.

"It's already lunch time. Just hang on."

His expression quickly changes, as he puts his focused look on.

"Why do you leave every morning?" He asks. I don't give him the whole truth. He is too young to hear it and understand.

"I get tested."

"I don't like it when you leave," Toby says; his face, serious.

"Well, I don't like to go," I reply.

A woman brings in a tray with our food. Just like in abnegation, it's plain, but unfortunately, not as good. I make sure Toby's plate has only small pieces and help him eat before I eat my own food. He's still learning how to eat by himself.

He grabs his spoon and starts playing with it. "Toby, stop playing with your food. It's selfish." I've been raising him with a few abnegation values.

"Sorry," Toby says and continues eating. Once he's done, he comes down from his chair and plays with his train. I finish eating my food and simply watch him.

The woman who brought our lunch comes back and takes the trays. Once she leaves, I pick up Toby and put him down for his afternoon nap. I run my hand through his hair. Doing this and rubbing his back, have always seemed to sooth him. He yawns.

"Can you tell me a bedtime story?" Toby asks.

"Sure," I tell him. I think of a story. "Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved her family very much. There was a very big storm that separated her from them. She ended up somewhere else; she met a bold, brave and selfless young man. They fell in love. One day, the Bad came and took her away from him, but even the distance couldn't keep her from loving him. The girl never lost hope of seeing him again."

"Now go to sleep," I say and kiss his forehead. He reaches for me and kisses mine.

"Bye mommy."

I turn the lights off and go relax a bit, to try to shake off the terrifying images of the simulation. My thoughts find Tobias. Somehow they always do. My mind fills itself with old memories. Like the time we first met. His eyes, so captivating, his posture tense, stiff, so handsome. It aches to think how I left him. I need to see him again. A noise interrupts my thoughts. The door makes an unlocking sound and David comes in. I instantly get up and sit on Toby's bed, next to him.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I thought you'd be more welcoming," he says sarcastically. "Your boy has grown." He reaches out to touch Toby but I shield him and David crosses his arms. "You should know that he has only one year if not less, than the serums will work on him and he'll be my next experimentation subject."

"You wouldn't dare try," I tell him aggressively.

"Trust me, I would." He starts towards the door then stops and faces me.

"By the way, your son looks a lot like Tobias." I flinch at the words and on that note, he leaves.

I exhale the air I didn't know I was holding. I look at my little boy; still safe and sound in my arms. David's words echo in my head. One more year, and that is if they don't create a serum that works on younger children. I need to protect Toby. It will be a hard to do alone, but all my losses have led me here. He turns a bit and I don't want to wake him up so I walk back to my bed and continue to watch him. He looks like and angel sleeping; clueless about our reality and worry free. I can't believe he didn't wake up with David's visit. I eventually doze off looking out for Toby and worrying about the future.

-PAGE BREAK-

TOBIAS POV (same day but in the morning)

I check my watch: 6:30am, so I grab a muffin and walk to the training room. I get guns and ammunition to set up. Zeke comes in the room since he's helping me with the initiates. "Morning," I say.

"Hey dude. Guess what? Christina and I found a girl that's totally your type," He says as he comes up behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder. I brush it off.

"No, I'm not going on a date." My voice sounds irritated

"You have to get out there again bro. Life goes on."

"I'm just not ready Zeke. Lay off," I say.

We finish setting up in silence. I look at the transfers' list one more time.

AMITY - Cecil

AMITY - Macie

CANDOR - Mason

CANDOR - Lance

CANDOR - Annaleigh

ERUDITE - Alicia

ERUDITE - Jen

ERUDITE - Jonah

Soon enough, the initiates pile in. "Hope you slept well because first day is about to begin," Zeke says. "So do your best."

I grab my gun. "I will demonstrate how to shoot only once. Pay attention." I show them how to keep their stance. I turn to face the target and all of the hatred I have against David surfaces. He killed my girl. I aim, inhale and shoot just as the anger against David consumes me as a whole. I shake the feeling off, but my breathing is still heavy and intense. I look at the target and see I've hit bullseye. I face the initiates who have a scared expression on their faces, well all except Lance. He seems like the old peter of this year's initiates and it bothers me. "Are you all going to stand there, or what?" I say in Four mode and they quickly grab guns and start shooting. I put my gun back on the table and watch them shoot. Thinking about what David did to her, makes my hands involuntarily close into fists and tense up. I feel a presence next to me and turn. It's Zeke. He sees that I have to cool out a bit and just motions towards the door. I nod and leave the training room.

After what happened at the bureau, I found that walking my anger off usually helps. I let my feet take me wherever and they do. When I stop, I notice where I am: our little spot in the chasm. My feelings can't seem to string themselves into words and sentences. I sit and close my eyes paying attention only to the sound of the water hitting the rocks. Tris' image forms itself in my head so vividly, you could almost say she's here. Her image starts to get blurry; I try so hard not to let go but unfortunately, I do. My eyes open and reality hits me. I stay here until I feel ready to go back to training as Four.

When I enter the training room, it's almost lunch time and Zeke dismisses the initiates. "How did they do?" I ask.

"The usual. The first time is always the hardest," he says and gives me the initiate list with some notes and their initial grades.

SHOOTING (grades: A to D)

Cecil - B - Didn't hit bullseye, but hit the target within the first 5 minutes.

Macie - B+ - Was the one who got the closest to the center.

Mason - C - Wasn't good but kept trying and working hard.

Lance - D - Was too busy talking to Jonah and Alicia.

Annaleigh - C - Did okay.

Alicia - D - Was too busy to hit the target.

Jen - C - Took a while to shoot the target but did well after hitting it.

Jonah - D - Was talking too much to try.

I underline Lance, Alicia and Jonah on the list. It seems like Lance has found himself a gang.

I hand Zeke back the list as he says, "I'm starving; let's go to lunch." I nod.

On the way to the cafeteria, I can tell he is avoiding the 'what happened to you before' topic; probably because he knows what it was all about and how I feel about it, so he casually just talks about training. When we get there, Christina and Shauna are already sitting at our usual table, so Zeke and I grab our food: I get a burger and a piece a cake and Zeke gets two slices of cake like he always does because according to him, the extra one is for Uriah. That's his way of keeping his brother close to him.

We sit with the girls.

"How was your day?" Zeke asks Shauna while reaching for her hand.

"Cara and Caleb continued my physiotherapy with experimental serums and they think I'll get at least 50% of my legs' function!" She tells us. Christina and I tell her how happy we are for her while Zeke goes in for a kiss.

"I am going to invite them over for dinner," Zeke says after sitting down again. Even though the faction system is back up, divergents are no longer considered a threat to society, the 'faction before blood' motto is not taken that seriously anymore and people can circulate more freely between factions.

"How was the first day of training?" Christina asks.

"Okay I guess. Most initiates hit the target," I say. Zeke starts to do impressions of the initiates and I stop paying attention. My mind wanders when suddenly I hear someone say _her_ name. I turn to find the sound and see the initiates looking and whispering about me. I glance at them and they look away. Of course everyone knows about how she helped save the city and its inhabitants, but many don't know that Tris was mine and I like to keep that to me; it's like keeping a small part of her only to me. Unfortunately, they seem to have found about our relationship. Some days are really hard.


	3. Chapter 3

**POINTS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHAPTER**

 **TRIS POV**

I wake up to the feeling of something crawling on me. I open my eyes to find Toby playing with his train and using me as its track. I watch him for a while silently. He has the same expression as his father does when he is training the initiates; his eyebrows arched down, his eyes focused and his lips gently pressed together. As I stare at him, I start to remember the dream I had; Toby running around in black clothes, his dad playing with him and kissing me. How perfect our life would be if this were real. I usually get nightmares, so even false hope is better than that. Toby asks me a question, and I snap out of it. "What?" I ask him since I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.

"When can I go there?" He points towards the door. I pull him against me and start rubbing circles on his back. I wish we were there, but out of here as a whole.

"I honestly don't know," I tell him, changing the subject since he won't understand much and it won't do him any good. We start to talk about trains, and he, with a huge smile, spattered on his face, talks about his toy train and how he wishes he could ride it. Soon someone comes bringing us our dinner. I help him eat and as soon as he's done, start to eat my own food. I've only taken a few bites when I notice Toby eyeing my food tentatively but yet, he says nothing. I take my plate and give him a share of my dinner.

"Thank you, mommy," he says and eats everything on his plate, since he'll eat anything you give him. He quickly finishes. "Can you play with me?" He asks sweetly.

"Sure. What do you want to play?" I ask and sit with him on the floor. He pushes his train towards me.

"Now you have to do that," he says. We play until they come to retrieve our plates. By then, it's Toby's bath time.

"Come on buddy, time for your bath." He immediately starts fussing, but eventually, gives in. I put him in the bathtub, and he starts to play with the water. His curly hair falls in front of his face; as I wet it and he laughs. Toby splashes me as I shampoo his hair with a devilish smile, so I join in and splash him back. Soon, we are in a water fight. These are the moments I cherish in the Bureau. I am practically soaked as I say, "I surrender, Toby! I surrender!"

"I win!" He commemorates with a proud smile on his face.

"I'll get you back next time," I say while I get Toby out of the tub and dry him. I dress him up in the bureau's clothes: all brown. "I need you to play nicely while I take a shower. Can you do that for mom?" He nods and hugs me in response.

I get my clothes and go shower. I close my eyes as the water runs through my hair, which is long again. I finish my shower quickly, since I still have to tuck Toby in. I get dressed, dry the floor and leave the bathroom, leaving the door slightly open with the light on. I pick Toby up and sit on the bed with him pressed on my chest.

"Is it time to sleep?" He asks yawning.

"Yes, it is," I say running my hand through his hair and humming him a lullaby. His eyes become heavy, and he drifts off to sleep. Even when he sleeps he looks like Tobias; his eyes, his jawline, everything. I play with Toby's curls, and then the bathroom lights start flickering. They turn off. There is a loud sound, like the one the door makes when it's unlocking. I stand up and try to turn on the lights. No response. That's when I realize what is really going on: a power outage; My way out. Probably my only chance to escape.

"Toby," I say shaking him awake. "You have to hold on to mommy and do as I say okay?" He nods obviously confused and tired. I pick him up, grab his train and hand it to him. "Hold this tight."

I jerk the door open and start running. The way out comes back to me like muscle memory. I don't think we have much time before the power comes back on, or somebody finds out we're missing. We pass the dorm that I stayed when I first came here during the war. Toby is wide awake but quiet. A guard appears behind me, and I kick him in the gut since I'm still holding Toby; the guy falls, and I kick his head once more to knock him out. Once he's out, I grab his gun and continue running. I tighten my grip on my son and keep the gun pointing down. I run and see the dripping fountain in the distance, and I know we are close to the exit. I hear a gunshot. Two armed guards appear. The gun still feels cold in my hand, but I ignore that fact in order to protect my child and shoot the one closer to me on the foot, he collapses, and I shoot the other one. Miss. I'm a bit rusty, so I try again, hitting his arm, and he lets go of the gun. I shove him and get away. I spot the exit and run faster; when I'm almost out a guard appears and points a gun at me, and I notice I'm out of ammo, so I don't even think twice when I take Toby out of my arms and shield him with my body. Surprisingly the guard lowers his gun and drops it to the ground. He takes the protection mask off. No. It can't be.

"Tris?"

I'm in complete and utter shock as he approaches me and hugs me. Tears form in my eyes.

"Uriah, is it really you?"

"Yes," He says with a sad smile.

We hear more gunshots.

"Come on. Let's get moving," He says, and we start towards the door in an incredible speed. "We can catch up on the way back."

The wind hits my face in God knows how long, and I suddenly remember what it's like to be free again. Eventually, the gunshots fade in the distance. We stop so I can catch my breath behind an abandoned building. Toby can get heavy after a while, but at least he's managed to fall asleep. As I sit down, I notice Uriah's stare at me and him; one of confusement and disbelief.

"He's my son. Turned two a little while ago."

"Is he..." Uriah doesn't finish it. He doesn't have to.

"Yes, he's Four's." He smiles big. "But he has no idea. He doesn't even know I'm alive."

"Zeke doesn't know I'm alive either." He looks at his feet. "What's his name?"

"It's Toby."

"Clever Tris, very clever." He playfully shoves me. Finally, the Uriah I know and love.

"Can we go? I really want to get to Chicago." It feels so weird to actually mention the city; and for the first time in years, it doesn't feel so far away.

Uriah nods and we keep on going.

"How'd you get the guard suit?' I ask suddenly curious on how he managed to escape.

"Well, there were always a few people who came to bring me back to my cell at night, and I kept trying to get rid of them ever since everything started, but unfortunately always failed. I just never lost hope. Apparently one of the guards had hurt himself on the day before, and I managed to knock him out and steal his gun, which I used to get rid of the other security men. I locked them in my room and stole the men's uniform, then I snuck into their control room and cut all of the wires without anyone noticing."

"You were the person who cut the power?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe you are a little bit Erudite." He laughs.

"What did they do to you, Tris?" My eyes get teary again.

"They took me to a room where they experimented on me by making me watch Toby, Four and my family being ripped away from me and die. I also got shocked with frequency, and when I didn't do as David demanded, I wouldn't get dinner. But I had to be strong for Toby, so I did everything I could to be there for him." Images of the terrible things they put me through cross my mind and I choke before I can finish my thought.

"Hey, hey, we are good now. It's going to be alright. We are going home." He tries to comfort me and in a way, convince himself. He wraps an arm around my shoulder lightly touching Toby's hair.

We take this dark path, so David and his followers don't find us. At least, not that easily and walk for what seems like hours in a nice silence, free of simulations screams, and my own. We've both got a lot on our minds. We've both changed in there.

Finally, the fence appears in front of us, and I feel small smile make its way to my face, but it fades quickly.

"Freeze!" Someone shouts. I look alertly to the people in front of us they stand a few feet in front of Uriah and me with guns pointing at us. Chicago police. The black they wear signifies that there are still factions.

"Hold your fire! There is a toddler here!" Uri exclaims. They lower their weapons.

"Approach slowly." We do as we are told.

They get the faction and city file open.

"Are you outsiders?"

"No," We answer in unison.

"What are your factions?"

"We are both dauntless," They click on the Dauntless records.

"Your names?" The man asks.

"Tris Prior and Uriah Pedrad," Uriah says.

They press a few buttons and look at us in a suspicious way.

"You are liars. Tris and Uriah are listed as deceased."

"Well, we are right here in front of you," Uri says mockingly.

"The laws don't allow your entrance."

"We are clearly not dead. If you need any further proof, this child is two years old, and your documents surely show my death prior to his birth." I state.

They look at each other for a few seconds until one of them nods.

"I suppose the boy is from outside." I nod. "Is the father from Dauntless?"

"Yes, he is," I answer truthfully.

"Then you must catch the next train to the compound, talk to a leader and register the child."

"Thank you," Uriah says, and we enter the gate.

We walk a while in silence until we reach the tracks. Then we just wait.

The familiar roar starts to sound in the distance. The train is coming. I put Toby on piggyback. Uriah turns to me.

"You ready?" He asks.

"Have been for a long time," I say, and he smiles.

We start to run and pull ourselves in. I sit down in the corner of the train and sit Toby on my lap, curling him. He looks very confused but is dead silent.

I kiss his head and lull him to sleep, since it will be a while until we get there. Uriah sits next to me.

"Toby seems sweet," Uriah says. "And he looks a lot like Four."

"He is such a good boy," I run my hand through Toby's curls. "But looking at him can be so bittersweet at times." I sigh.

"I'm not even sad anymore; just angry at everything. How can someone do that? Especially to a little boy? If I had known about you and Toby, I'd have killed them!"

"You wouldn't have been able to do anything. I tried everything I could."

I watch the city pass by in front of me. Everything seems to be as it was before the war. The Ferris wheel appears in the background, and I genuinely smile as I remember that night. I look down at Toby and notice that he has held on to his toy train and think to myself that at least he has gotten to ride a real one like he's always wanted to, and I, fortunately, have been able to keep my promise to keep him safe. At least for now.

I find myself in thoughts about everything and nothing at the same time, and the train slows down and stops.

"We're here," I say in disbelief. Uriah smiles.

"We're home," he completes.

THE POINTS:

Rafy Eaton - 16 (Thank you so much for the love!)

HotaruBia - 8

if. .Die - 5

Shinyzorua100 - 5

Swanhailey1 - 5

anita1788 - 5

staicer - 5


	4. Chapter 4

**Read the 'end notes' for current points and point opportunity**

I need to know what you think of the story, so I am creating a point system in which you get to pick your prize! All points will be given at "the end notes" of every new chapter.

REVIEW (COMMENT) - 4

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KUDOS - 3 (3 points each)

IDEA - 5

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REWARDS (You choose yours)

NEXT CHAPTER SUMMARY + PREVIEW - 15

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NAME A DAUNTLESS BORN - 35

NAME AND CHARACTERIZE A DAUNTLESS BORN - 43

TRIS POV

We enter the compound together. Toby slowly wakes up in my arms.

"Mommy," He calls.

"Hey buddy," I say kissing his forehead and putting on the floor and holding his hand.

We make our way through a dark hallway and pass in front of the pit. Luckily, everybody, there is either drunk or on their way to drunkenness to acknowledge our presence, which makes sense taking into consideration how late it is and where we are. Uriah stops in front of me.

"You should go talk to Four first."

"I don't want to just blurt everything now. It wouldn't be fair to him."

"You not being here isn't fair to him. What the bureau did to all of us, especially to you and Toby isn't fair to him."

"I'll wait for you in the hallway, and whenever you are ready, you can take Toby from me."

"Okay," I surrender.

The truth is despite everything, I'm anxious for this encounter. Will he have moved on? Will he have forgotten me? I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared to find the answers to all the questions I have. It worries me how he will react to all that has happened; it is a lot to learn in just a single conversation. I silently make the choice to give him only superficial details.

I lead the way towards Tobias's old apartment hoping that he still lives there. Each place we pass makes my mind come flooding back with memories, and each step I take brings me closer to him.

I am so caught up in my thoughts that I don't even realize that we stand in front of the apartment. I sigh and look at Uri and Toby.

"We'll be here," Uriah assures me and goes to the corner of the hallway with Toby, so Tobias doesn't see them immediately.

I close my eyes and this time my mind thinks of a hundred different ways in which everything could go wrong, but I block them out. I've been waiting for this for far too long.

I knock.

"Go away Zeke! I don't want to go to another one of your stupid parties!" It's him. His voice fills my heart, but he doesn't know it's me.

"Tobias please open the door! It's me, Tris," I say in hopes of getting him to come.

I rest my hands and forehead on the door, throwing my weight against it. He probably won't come. A brusque movement causes me to lose my balance, but something seems to catch me. More specifically, someone. I look up and stare at his beautiful deep sea blue eyes which I have longed to see for so long. Tobias looks at me in disbelief and his eyes fill with tears. He doesn't let go of me as he kicks the door close. He looks at me one more time. His shaky hands trace my cheek bones, his touch is still so familiar against my skin. He then stops what he's doing and backs away.

"No. It can't be you. You're dead." He shakes his head and mutters senselessly.

"Tobias calm down," I say slowly coming closer to him.

"This isn't real, Tobias. You've got to let go. I know it's hard because she was all you've had and all you'll ever have and she was the bravest and most selfless person you knew. And when she said she wasn't beautiful she was right, because that word can't cover her. She was

more than beautiful. I know that sometimes you think you see her or hear her voice, but you've got to calm down." He pauses. "It's just that God I miss her." He finishes saying this and breaks down, still looking at me. I am just left paralyzed by his words. I silently whisper.

"I'm sorry." I squint my eyes together. My impulsive actions hurt him deeply.

As I open my eyes, Tobias slowly approaches me. His eyes are wide and tears stream down his face, something I wasn't used to seeing in my time at Dauntless.

"You usually vanish after I say something."

"I'm not going anywhere." I practically run and bury my head in his chest. His heart beats fast and steady, and he smells like home. He takes a few seconds, but wraps his arms protectively around me and kisses my head. We stay like this for a while, crying in each other's arms, until he pulls me back and stares into my eyes.

"Is this real?" He asks.

"As real as can be," I tell him.

He then leans in and kisses me and our touch lifts sparks that create an explosion. When we pull away, his handsome smile grows and then fades. He touches one of the bruises I got when I escaped. Rage flows through his eyes.

"We need to talk Tris." He says and I nod.

"I'm going to grab us some water. Make yourself at home," he says a bit awkwardly and heads into the kitchen.

I start to look around and notice the words "Fear God Alone" are gone and the words "Bravery and Selflessness" replace them. I sit down on the couch. I find a picture frame turned the other way and take it in my hands. What I see surprises me; it's a picture of me in the cafeteria. I start to look at it as a voice speaks.

"Out of everything I own, that's my favorite," Tobias says.

"Where did you get it?" I ask.

"Zeke found it in one of the old camera footages."

"Oh." I put the photo back. And look at his slightly bloodshot eyes.

"Where do we start?" I ask.

"What really happened?" he asks.

"I couldn't let Caleb go in there for me; not after everything and it killed me to have to leave you, but I couldn't let him sacrifice himself for me, I couldn't be that selfish, so I entered the room. I was able to survive the death serum with some effort. When I moved on, David appeared in front of me with a gun threatening to shoot me if I entered the code and when I did, he kept his promise. I thought I was dying. The pain left my body, and an image of my mother emerged in front of me, and I slowly let go. Apparently, Matthew found out what David had done to me only a few moments after the gun went off. He convinced him that keeping me alive as a specimen would be more important than letting me die, so he injected me with a stronger version of the paralytic serum from Erudite and healed me. Unlike in Erudite, I couldn't hear or feel anything, but when I woke up from the serum, you and our friends were all gone, and they told me how you now believed I was dead. It hurt more than anything. Knowing I lost you. They locked me in a room, and I only left for tests and simulations for their 'Genetic Divergent' research. I had to watch you die almost every day in the sims, but I had to be strong for -" I catch myself before I continue.

"For what, Tris?" He asks anxiously.

"I'm scared of how you'll react."

"You can tell me anything. We made a promise in what seems to each other that we wouldn't lie, remember?" He questions. I sigh.

"Tobias, you are a father."

His eyes widen, his mouth opens, and he is frozen for what seems like an eternity. The silence doesn't calm me, so I speak again.

"About two weeks after you left, they gave me a blood test, and it determined that I was pregnant. It was hard not having you around, but he reminds me so much of you, and until now, he was the only thing I had to hold on to; my last hope."

"He? It's a boy?" He manages to ask.

"Yes, his name is Toby." Tobias goes silent once again.

"They let me keep him because they would run tests on him when he reached the age where serums work. I would never let them do that. I tried to escape a few times after I found out about Toby, but never succeeded and when he was born, they threatened to shock and torture him if tried. I just couldn't risk it. Not until yesterday. The power shut down, so I picked him up and ran. On my way out I found the person responsible for the power outage: Uriah."

"He's alive?" He questions in a whispery tone.

"Yes. Turns out he had gone through the same experience as I did. He helped us run and we, thanks to him, got here safely."

"My son, is he here?" He asks.

"Yes."

"Can I- Can I see him?" He stutters upon the question. I just smile and nod. I get up from the couch, open the door and go to the hallway. Toby lights up when he sees me.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy!" He says excitedly. I pick him up from Uriah's arms.

"Hey, buddy!" I reply, and he snuggles in my chest.

"Thanks, Uri; For everything," I say and hug him.

"Anytime, but now I have to talk to someone too." He replies and winks leaving the hall.

As I get in the apartment, Tobias gets up from the couch and turns to me, his eyes fixed. Toby is facing the other way.

"Is this him?" He asks.

"Yes," I tell him. Toby looks at Tobias after he hears us talking with a curious look on his face.

"Hi Toby," Tobias says softly.

"Hi," Toby says back. "Who are you?" He asks. Tobias looks almost broken at the question but quickly recomposes himself.

"I'm your dad. Do you know what that is?"

"No," Toby answers and shakes his head.

"It's like a man version of mom," He tells Toby who grins in response.

He yawns and turns to me. "Mommy I'm tired."

"I know honey," I tell him.

"Toby can sleep on the spare mattress I have for today," Tobias offers.

"That would be great," I say.

"I'll go get it." He takes it into his room with a set of blankets. I follow him and put Toby down; Tobias leaves the room to grab something else in the meantime.

"Sleep tight buddy," I say and kiss his forehead.

Tobias comes back with one of his shirts and some of my old clothes; a black tank top, black leggings and combat boots. He sets these down on the dresser.

"Are you comfortable sleeping with me tonight or would you rather sleep on the couch?" Tobias asks.

"With you," I answer a bit shyly blushing.

"Here, you can sleep in this," He says as he hands me the shirt he was holding. It smells like him.

"Thank you." I take the shirt and go shower quickly before going to sleep. I put the shirt on, and it looks like a dress on me. It has his smell - rust, musk and something sweet - home. I find him in the kitchen drinking a glass of water. I don't say anything; I walk towards him, and we stay together, embracing each other as if we were scared that something would pull us apart. We remain this way until we are both too tired to stand, then, we go to sleep. It is the first time I sleep soundly in two years.

—

I have a question for you guys! Do you want a Tobias reaction chapter or do you want me to keep moving with the story? Points will be awarded for answering.

Points: (all anonymous guest points will be distributed between the 'top scorers'; if there are more people in the same category, they will be given in alphabetical order)

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AgentsArePansycakesInTheTardis: 6

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Swanhailey1:5

Staicer: 5

Tris-1618: 5

If. : 5

Divergentreader322: 4

Kali: 4

Booklover252: 4

If. : 4


	5. Chapter 5

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a long time! I've been so busy lately, but now things are going to slow down for a little while! Because of this, every action on the point system will get **2 EXTRA POINTS** , and if you reach 25 you get a special bonus!As always, they will be at the bottom of the chapter! Most people wanted the Tobias POV, so here it is! I love to hear from you guys, and as long as a reply link is provided, I will reply to your review, or whatever you send me!

Point system:

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 **MAKE SURE YOU READ THE NOTES**

 **Tobias POV**

I follow my usual routine upon my late arrival home: cleaning, showering, coffee, initiate review time, mail opening, anything I have to do for the government, and finally, turn in time. The mail is especially lengthy today, but nothing out of the ordinary. Mostly bills, updates on Marcus outside of the city, and Evelyn confirming our usual 'once every two weeks' dinner. I lay that one on the counter to remember to answer it in the morning; I'm not in a rush since it doesn't take long for a letter arrive where it's supposed to go. As for Marcus' updates, all I care about is that he is far away from me, and can no longer hurt in any way the people in the city. The government officials had a meeting just before the initiates' arrival, which means that there will only be matters to take care of after initiation if all goes as planned.

I could go to bed, but I decide to plan training for the following day. The initiates were terrible at shooting, which means that they will be even worse at knife throwing. I guess they could practice that in the morning session and in the afternoon depending on how well they do. I write that down and put names of the initiates that will most likely need more individualized attention. A knock on the door stops my action. I check the time. A knock at my door at this time can only mean one thing: Zeke wants me to go with him to a party. I sigh.

"Go away Zeke! I don't want to go to another one of your stupid parties!" Seconds of silence follow; something that does not usually happen with Zeke.

And that's when I hear it.

"Tobias please open the door! It's me, Tris."

It's not like I have not heard her voice before in the apartment, or seen her on several occasions. Mostly it happens in dreams, and she is usually lying lifeless in front of me; I shiver at the thought. But every so often I see her in front of me; her image is so real when that happens. Sometimes she speaks, but that's really rare. Hearing her is usually not connected to seeing her. I know that if I do open the door, whatever I encounter will leave me sleepless tonight. I do it anyway. I walk toward the door and swing it open. I must have opened it too abruptly because the subject stumbles and I reach out.

Unlike the other times, I saw her, this time she's wrapped around my arms. Her hair is no longer short, but long once again, and her grey-blue eyes are full of life, demanding attention. I can't help but trace her cheek bones and my hands involuntarily shake. Maybe it is her. Maybe inexplicably she is alive, and she is here. The idea quickly fades. No, it can't be; I saw her lying on that table, and I spread her ashes. This is not good for me. I drop my movements and back away from the image. I try to shake away what just happened.

"No. It can't be you. You're dead," I reiterate and pace.

"Tobias calm down," She voices and slowly walks towards me. It can't be her. I want to make her disappear; I don't know why I ever wanted another vision of her, it all just hurts too much. I stare at her straight in the eyes and try to convince myself to unsee her.

"This isn't real, Tobias. You've got to let go. I know it's hard because she was all you've had and all you'll ever have and she was the bravest and most selfless person you knew. And when she said she wasn't beautiful she was right, because that word can't cover her. She was more than beautiful. I know that sometimes you think you see her or hear her voice, but you've got to calm down." I take another breath and look away. "It's just that God I miss her."

I recompose myself facing away from where she stood. The sound of my heavy breathing fills the room.

"I'm sorry." A brittle voice speaks.

I turn and face the girl with the blonde hair. She's squinting her eyes slightly and I very cautiously make my way towards her.

"You usually vanish after I say something," I tell her.

"I'm not going anywhere," She blurts out. Before I can register what is going on, she runs to me and rests her head on me the same way she used to. I stay immobile for a few seconds but follow her suit by tightly wrapping my arms around her. An uncontrollable flow of emotions flows me, and I don't hold it in, and neither does she. I finally break away from her and ask the mind boggling question which has been bothering me.

"Is this real?" I question.

"As real as can be," she answers with a slight grin.

I have longed for this moment for far too long, and wait no longer for what has crossed the back of my mind a few times. Perhaps this would be the final confirmation that this is all true, that she is not dead, but alive and here with me. I lean in and kiss her. She tenses up at first but quickly eases into it. When I pull away, I catch sight of a bruise covering the side of her right hand. I hold it up and look at the bruise. Who did this to her? Why is she hurt? Was someone keeping her? Why?

"We need to talk Tris," I intone and she silently nods. "I'm going to grab us some water. Make yourself at home," I say the last part a bit stiffly, as this would have been her home if none of this had happened.

I try to gather what I need in the kitchen as quickly as possible, as I'm still in disbelief of everything. I stand by the door frame watching Tris take in the changes in the apartment. She seems to notice the words "Bravery and Selflessness" printed on the wall. She takes a seat on the couch and picks up the picture frame with a photo of her. Her fingers trace the edge of the frame, and I speak.

"Out of everything I own, that's my favorite," I note

"Where did you get it?" She questions

"Zeke found it in one of the old camera footages," I explain.

"Oh." she gently puts it back on the table and takes a deep breath before looking at me again.

"Where do we start?" She asks

"What happened?" I inquire since she's not dead. She begins and I don't interrupt her, scared that she will refuse to speak about it or somehow vanish midway through her sentence. As she speaks, her face is grim, and she has a hard time getting to the end of her thoughts. She takes short pauses at some points to recompose herself. I attentively listen to what she says.

"I couldn't let Caleb go in there for me; not after everything and it killed me to have to leave you, but I couldn't let him sacrifice himself for me, I couldn't be that selfish, so I entered the room. I was able to survive the death serum with some effort. When I moved on, David appeared in front of me with a gun threatening to shoot me if I entered the code and when I did, he kept his promise. I thought I was dying. The pain left my body, and an image of my mother emerged in front of me, and I slowly let go. Apparently, Matthew found out what David had done to me only a few moments after the gun went off. He convinced him that keeping me alive as a specimen would be more important than letting me die, so he injected me with a stronger version of the paralytic serum from Erudite and healed me. Unlike in Erudite, I couldn't hear or feel anything, but when I woke up from the serum, you and our friends were all gone, and they told me how you now believed I was dead. It hurt more than anything. Knowing I lost you. They locked me in a room, and I only left for tests and simulations for their 'Genetic Divergent' research. I had to watch you die almost every day in the sims, but I had to be strong for -" Her eyes widen as she stops herself. I try to figure out what comes next, but I can't, and she does not complete it herself.

"For what, Tris?" I ask sounding maybe a little bit too desperate for an answer.

"I'm scared of how you'll react," she shyly says and looks at the floor.

"You can tell me anything. We made a promise in what seems to each other that we wouldn't lie, remember?" I push the subject further, and she sighs.

"Tobias, you are a father," I freeze. I can't seem to find words to say anything. I don't register what she said properly. Me? A father? That was never something I planned for myself. Not even in Abnegation. After my childhood, how could I ever want to be a father? But something about it is also sweet. The fact that it is hers changes everything. I've probably been stuck in my thoughts because she speaks again.

"About two weeks after you left, they gave me a blood test, and it determined that I was pregnant. It was hard not having you around, but he reminds me so much of you and until now, he was the only thing I had to hold on to; my last hope," She elaborates.

"He? It's a boy?" I question.

"Yes, his name is Toby." I try to digest the new information.

"They let me keep him because they would run tests on him when he reached the age where serums work. I would never let them do that. I tried to escape a few times after I found out about Toby, but never succeeded and when he was born, they threatened to shock and torture him if tried. I just couldn't risk it. Not until yesterday. The power shut down, so I picked him up and ran. On my way out I found the person responsible for the power outage: Uriah."

"He's alive?" I ask and her mouth slightly curls at its ends.

"Yes. It turns out he had gone through the same experience as I did. He helped us run and we, thanks to him, got here safely."

"My son, is he here?" I struggle with the word but manage to get the question out.

"Yes," She responds

"Can I- Can I see him?" These words are harder to get out, and they come through before I can ponder on the idea further, but Tris offers a calming and reassuring smile and a nod. She puts her glass down and makes her way to the door and steps out into the hallway. I hear muffled voices speaking and soon enough, Tris comes back in the apartment holding a blonde little boy. He is looking away from me so I can't see his face.

"Is this him?" I know it's a stupid question, but I don't think I can bare the silence any longer.

"Yes," And as he hears our conversation, he turns. He looked a lot like me when I was little, but his hair is blond like Tris, ' and it forms angel-like curls. I look at him for awhile until I work myself up to talk to him directly.

"Hi Toby," I try my best to not show any signs of anxiety.

"Hi," Toby says back. "Who are you?" He asks, and this time, the feeling is similar to getting punched in the stomach; because right then it hits me. It's been two years of his life, and he doesn't know his father.

"I'm your dad. Do you know what that is?"

"No," Toby answers and shakes his head.

"It's like a man version of mom," He smiles a little bit. I guess that in his toddler mind, the idea of it sounds great.

"Mommy I'm tired," He mumbles sleepily to Tris. Mommy. That word sounds so wrong for her but so familiar in the way he said it.

"I know honey," she says cradling him a bit more.

"Toby can sleep in the spare mattress I have for today," I state.

"That would be great," Tris responds following with a sigh of relief.

"I'll go get it." I leave the room and pull the mattress out with blankets. I put everything in my room, across from the door, and left from the bed, the opposite side from the one I sleep on. Tris comes right after me and rests the boy on the mattress. I leave to get some clothes for Tris. I go to the closet where I keep the towels and some of her belongings I kept and grab a tank top, leggings and her practically unused combat boots. I also get one of my shirts, so that they can be used as pajamas. I walk back in the room and set her old stuff on the dresser. Then I turn to her with a question.

"Are you comfortable sleeping with me tonight or would you rather I sleep on the couch?"

"With you," she blushes slightly as he answers.

"Here, you can sleep in this," I say handing her the shirt I almost forgot I was holding.

"Thank you." She takes it and goes to shower. She comes and finds me in the kitchen as I am fidgeting with the initiate schedule I was working on earlier and drinking a glass of water. I don't think I'll be able to take on training tomorrow. She silently walks towards me, and we stay that. Holding each other till the end of the night.

POINTS:

Rafy Eaton: 21

Kats meow: 21

Denisa.D: 19

Kckg: 15

AgentsArePansycakesInTheTardis: 11

Sari9090: 10

Werewolfgirl2002: 10

Shinyzorua: 9

Kali: 9

Spring04: 10

Dauntless Cake4646: 9

Hotaru Bia: 6

Dauntlessgirl13: 6

Anita1788: 6

Katraj0908: 6

Kaisha1992: 6

Swanhailey1: 5

Staicer: 5

Tris-1618: 5

If. : 5

Faith O: 5

Divergentlovertilltheend: 5

Divergentreader322: 4

Booklover252: 4

Eggplant: 4


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the long wait! It was a jumble of things. Worry not, I have returned and am on a strict posting schedule now. So I actually tried to make this sound like Tobias is kind of fumbling around in a haze. I rewrote this countless times but it still isn't where I'd like it to be. I need to know if you guys are still reading this and would like me to keep on updating or not. Points come in the next chapter!**

I throw another punch at the bag and it swings. The training room is the only place that carries this lightness and silence before dusk. Its rusty, yet familiar smell helps me settle and think about the events that occurred at night. It just all seems so surreal, but I know it's true; she and he are very much real. I stop punching to catch my breath and start to recall the night's events, leading to seeing the little boy wrapped in her embrace. Toby, I say in my head. I have a child, something that was never a part of my plans after being raised by my father, and just the thought of it terrifies me. What if I hurt him? What if he hates me? What if I scar him for life? What if I mess him up? I don't know how to be a parent, but somehow Tris seems to manage it flawlessly. He looks very much like I did like a toddler, and I can't help but feel more haunted at the thought. I shake the feeling off and check the wall clock; I've been here for far too long, and although I have requested for increased security, I can't shake the feeling that something is going to happen while I'm out. I decide to take a day off training and stay home, so on my way home I sneak a note under Christina's door asking her to cover for me with the initiates' training, and that I'll explain everything later. I open my apartment's door to find an attent Tris staring fixedly at the photograph again. She jumps at the sound of the door.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I say lightly, and watch her body release all the built up tension. "Why are you awake already? It's four in the morning."

"Well, I couldn't sleep." She says cheekily. "Why are you awake?" She questions cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Couldn't sleep and I needed someone to take over my initiates for me."

"Initiates?"

"They arrived a few days ago"

"So what exactly has changed?"

"For starters, the faction system." She looks at me both focused and amused. "You see the traditional faction system was flawed. It allowed little opportunity to many. We made it so that the factions are looser and faction does not come before blood, and that there's no such thing as factionless anymore. Also, the government is based on an equal representation of all of the factions rather than being settled in a single one, with elections every two years."

"Who are our representatives?"

"Amar, Zeke, and me".

"I guess we are in good hands," she says smiling.

"Very much so. Cara is planning on running next year to replace Caleb since he plans on stepping down." Her eyes widen at his name.

"Caleb! How is he? And how is Cara? And Fernando? And Zeke, Shauna, Christina!" Her eyes light up as she goes down the list excitedly, and I feel the spirit of the 16 year-old-ferris-wheel-climbing-girl surface. For a minute, she's young and carefree again. All I can do is marvel at her and laugh.

"Slow down! They're all doing just fine. Zeke and Shauna are married, Caleb and Cara have been working to help Shauna gain back movement in her legs. Fernando became an ambassador for the factions and visits frequently. Christina hasn't changed one bit; she still says whatever's on her mind and gets all jumpy over makeup, or whatever it is. She misses you though." I say the last part looking at her eyes. "You should go talk to her and tell her everything yourself."

"I will, soon. I just need to gather my thoughts first." A weak smile appears on her face.

She shifts on the couch to face me and winces involuntarily in pain, much like when she was beaten up by Peter and his thugs.

"Let me see," I say. She faces away from me and lifts up her shirt slightly looking away blushing. A huge dark hematoma covers half of her stomach. "For how long have you had this?"

"Since yesterday", I get up and grab a pain needle from the cabinet, and hand it to her.

"Faster than pills, better than cream," I say handing her the needle. "Only downside is that it knocks you out for some time"

"Than I can't take it. I have to be here for when Toby gets up." She hands me the medicine back. I sigh.

"Leave him to me. You just focus on getting better." I say handing her the needle, and just realizing what I said. I have no idea how to care for a kid.

She sighs and applies it on her neck. Her hand shakes slightly as she presses the liquid in.

We talk for a few more minutes as her eyes get droopy, and she falls asleep on the couch.

I write down the weekly plan for the council and open a letter from my mother; it's about our usual weekly meal. I hear the sound of rushed footsteps down the hall and put the letter on the kitchen counter. As I turn, the footsteps are gone but a pair of blue eyes stare straight at me. I look at him for a few seconds as he seems to analyze me too. His curly hair is messy from sleeping, and he wears the white clothes from the bureau. I make a mental note to get him something else to wear.

"Hi," he says enthusiastically, but shyly.

"Good morning," I say, and realize I don't really know how to talk to kids.

He looks behind him to the couch, where Tris is asleep. He walks to her and moves his head so that he's facing her straight.

"She's tired," I tell him as softly as I can, but he's still looking at her focused. I should probably direct him to something else. "Hey, what about getting you something to eat." he looks at me and then fumbles my way. I look around the house for somewhere to safely put him to eat without him falling. I have no high chairs or booster seats. I look at the dining table and figure out a way to fix the problem temporarily; I grab two chairs and turn them with their backs facing each other with a viable chair in the middle. This way, he won't fall off. He's still standing where I left him so I pick him up. This is perhaps the first time I've picked up a toddler in my life, and he's actually not as light as I thought he would be. I place him on the chair and realize that he is too short - the only things not covered by the table are his eyes. I sigh.

"Don't move," I tell him and grab two cushions from the armchair. I lift him up and place the two pillows on the chair and put him back on it. "Better?" I ask, and he nods.

"What do you want to eat?" He shrugs. Not much of a talker, I think to myself. I grab a muffin and split it into four chunks, and then cut those in half as well. I also grab some crackers and put this all on a plate. I sit with a mug of coffee facing him. This all just seems like a haze to me.

"I like this," He says as he eats a second piece of muffin.

"That's good," I tell him.

"What's that?" He asks pointing to the coffee mug.

"It's coffee. You wouldn't like it." I say to him. He keeps on eating. Tris said that he looks a lot like me, but he's very similar to her. The faces he makes remind me of her. He munches some more and stops eating. "Are you done?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says and sighs.

"Alright," I stand up to pick up the plate.

"Thank you," He says.

"No problem," I answer not really knowing what to say; he has manners. I take him out of the chair, and he wanders around. Funny enough, he stops in front of Tris's picture and smiles. He completely lights up just seeing a picture of her. I decide to take Tris to my bed because I'm scared that Toby will wake her up, even if the meds are strong. I pick her up gently; it sounds impossible but I'm sure that she's lost some weight because she's so light. I take her to my bedroom and place her on the bed, and covering her with a blanket. She doesn't even flinch. I come back to find Toby sitting on the floor, and reluctantly, make an effort to be with him. It's really hard. I sit down. "What do you want to do?" I ask him.

"I don't know"

"Well, what do you usually do?" I ask him.

"I wait for mom." I nod looking at the floor.

"Why don't I give you a bath? He frowns.

"It's too early for a bath," He whines.

"But if you bathe now you'll be all ready for when-" I trail off not knowing what to call her. Tris? Mom? "Your mom gets up." I struggle with the words.

"No!" He fuses

"It'll be quick," I assure him.

"No!" He crosses his arms and starts sobbing.

"The faster you bathe, the faster you'll get out." This time, he sobs louder, and I start worrying about Tris getting up and me wondering what to do with a desperate, crying two-year-old toddler. I look around the room desperately trying to figure out what to do. How do you reason with a two-year-old? "Um. Okay. Just listen to me. If I bathe you, I can make you a nice lunch and we can play until nap time. Deal?" He still sobs as he cleans his face and nods.

"Alright. Let's go." I extend my hand, and he takes it. I pull him up. We walk hand in hand to the bathroom. I realize that I've never bathed a toddler before. Great. Should I turn on the shower, or should I pour water from a bowl? I have no idea as to where to start. I look at him as he swinging his legs sitting on the toilet cover. I look at a bowl and decide that it's probably best to go with that, so I take some warm water from the bathtub before it gets soapy. Okay.

"I'm gonna try this," I say mostly to myself. I have him stand up, undress him and put him in the tub. "Shampoo or soap first?" I ask him."

"Soap," he answers.

"Okay," I say. While I rub the soap gently on his arms, I subconsciously check for bruises. Not a single scratch. I sigh, but immediately tense up thinking about the scars my father left on me. At that age, I didn't have any scars either. I try to shake it off.

"Do- do you feel clean?" I question and he nods.

"Good." I grab the shampoo and put some on his hair letting it bubble up. I pour some water on his hair, and as the shampoo is washed out, he begins to sob again. I fumble around for a towel.

"I'm sorry," I say desperately, clinging the towel.

"My eyes sting."

"I know. I'm sorry. Stop moving, and I'll clean it." I say, and dry his eyes. He stops sobbing, and I release the air I didn't know I was holding. His hair is still full of shampoo.

"I'm gonna have to rinse it again."

"Please, don't," He says frightfully and I feel sorry for him. I suck at this. I'm probably the worst person for this job.

"But if I don't wash it off, your hair will get sticky and fall off," I tell him. His eyes widen.

"Do it quick," He says closing his eyes and squishing himself. I almost chuckle.

"You know what? Here hold the towel tight on your eyes." I hand the towel to him; It's small, so he can easily manage it. "This way, it won't hurt." I pour the rest of the water on him and he doesn't cry this time.

"All better," I say and take the towel from him. I take him out of the tub and dry him off. I put him back in his underwear but in one of my shirts. My shirts are already huge on Tris, but on him, it's just comic. The black shirt rubs on the floor as he walks, so I tie a knot in a way that the shirt rests just over his knees. He's actually pretty tall for a toddler his age. Since he does have curly hair, I brush it before it dries up. It's funny how neither me or Tris have curly hair. I try to think of what I can do to keep him entertained while I get stuff done. I take his hand and walk him to the living room sitting him down on the couch. I'm sure I remember him playing with a toy of some sort, so I walk to my bedroom to see if he left it there. I open the door and take a moment to look at the dark room. Tris is asleep and the way that she's intertwined with the blankets brings out her long sun colored hair. For a second, the trivial thought of whether she'll cut it short again pops into my head. I resist the temptation to walk toward her, so instead, I reach for the train toy lying next to the spare mattress Toby slept on. I wrap my fingers around it and with one more glance at Tris, leave the bedroom.

The little boy sits on the couch as I left him, and looks around. He's quiet, but the observative kind of quiet. He turns to face me as I pass the hallway and close the door behind me. I take a seat next to him and he looks at me suspiciously. I turn the toy train around in my hands glancing at it and thinking about what to say next. I pass it to the little boy next to me. He, in turn, gladly takes it.

"Thank you," he responds. It's obvious his mother has instilled manners on him. I pause before saying anything.

"Do you like trains?" I ask him.

"Aham," he answers smiling and nodding lightly.

"Around here we get plenty of them. They're a lot bigger than this one though," I tell him. I think about reaching out to him again, but decide not to. A wave of uncertainty looms over me as I suddenly become frightened and unsure once again. I'm scared. I'm terrified that I will hurt Toby. My hands start shaking and I clench them into fists getting up in a hassle to stay away from him. I don't want to terrify him, and I don't want him to see me like this. I move away from him and clench my hands around the kitchen counter's edges, inhaling sharply and looking down. I close my eyes and breathe deeply a few times. Slowly, the tension starts to leave my hands and body. I unclench my fists, open my eyes and look at the room again. He's still there. He seems okay. In the middle of all this chaos, the doorbell rings. I sigh and walk towards the door looking at my hands white and red from all the tension. I shake it off.

"Who's this?" I ask just loud enough for the person outside to hear.

"Christina," she answers. I turn back and look at the Toby on the couch. Shoot. I have to let her in, even if Tris would have liked to talk to Christina herself first. I'll just do my best to rush her out.

I open the door and she lets herself in as usual.

"You forgot to give me the grading sheets," she says facing me, with her back turned on the couch.

"You could have just printed some out," I say sounding a little bit more harsh than I meant. God, I sound like her trainer again.

"Well, I wanted to check on you. Kind of weird for you to just not go to training." She scans me. "And from your tone, I was right to come."

Just as she finishes the sentence, a loud sound comes from the general region of the couch. I look at the couch and see Toby promptly get up and reach for his toy train on the floor. Christina, being the person she is, turns around to see what's going on. Her eyes widen at the scene and her eyebrows furrow in confusion. Quietly, but intensely, she addresses me.

"Four, why is there a kid in your living room?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for your thoughtful reviews (I love reading them)!**

TOBIAS POV

"Four, why is there a kid in your living room?" I look at Toby prop himself up on the couch again and pull Christina by the wrist outside leaving the front door slightly open. I try to find the right words to tell her the insanity of what happened last night.

"The kid is my kid," I blurt out before I can even realize what I just said. First, she stares at me in a state of shock. Quickly enough though, she manages to think.

"Wait, you told me that you only 'did it' with Tris!" She says in a panicking way.

"I did only do it with Tris," I state sternly.

"So you adopted?" She questions, although it ends up sounding a lot more like an affirmation. I understand why though. I shake my head looking at the floor.

"He's mine and Tris's" Her eyes widen more at that statement.

"How is that possible?" She half whispers. I scratch the back on my neck.

"This is gonna sound crazy," I sigh. "She's alive." Christina shakes her head several times in a row.

"That's not possible. We both saw her dead. You scattered her ashes," She says frantically.

"I know. But she's here and that boy is hers." She chokes on her words.

"How?"

"I think it's better if you talk to her about that later," I tell her matter of factly.

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, but she is asleep. I had to give her a shot for her bruises," I tell her and she tenses up at the idea but nods looking at the floor. I push the door open and Christina follows me inside. Her eyes catch Toby's and she stops to look at him.

"Um Toby, this is Christina," I say motioning to her. She smiles with her eyes partly filled with water.

"Hi," she says and takes his hand to shake it. "You're very handsome, did you know that?" He blushes lightly - just like his mother.

"Thank you," he answers, and she gets up again to come with me. As we make our way to the hallway, she remarks.

"There's no doubt; that boy is the blend in between you and Tris. Looks like you, but he acts like her." I open the door to the bedroom where Tris is sound asleep. Christina steps in and breaks into silent sobs; something I haven't seen her do in a while now.

"She- They got here in between last night and this morning. It was very late, and it was all a haze, so I'm not exactly sure at what time they got here. She wanted to be the first one to talk to you but she was in pain so I gave her the medication." Christina's mind is in another planet though. She doesn't seem to have registered a single word I said before.

"She's here," Christina half-whispers as she stares at Tris in disbelief.

"She looks exactly the same," Christina says.

She still looks beautiful, I think to myself.

She checks her watch. Holding back tears, she speaks again.

"I have to go, break is almost over. I just wish I could talk to her," she says.

"You can. I'll tell Tris you came by when she wakes up."

I shut the bedroom door behind us as walk her out. As she turns the hallway I call her.

"Christina, you should talk to Zeke too today." She nods and walks away.

Personally, it's been awhile since I've seen Christina so emotionally drained like that. She suffers more in silence, and channels that energy into something else. In front of us, however, she tries to keep a smile or a neutral face. We've all gotten a little better these last two years, but grief, as we know well, comes in waves.

-/-

TRIS POV

I open my eyes and find that I am in Tobias' room - I'm longer on the couch. I check the alarm clock next to the bed and see that it's 6:00 pm. I get up and realize that the pain is gone and sigh in relief. I open the door and see Tobias on the couch reading some letters and Toby asleep on the other couch with a blanket covering him.

"Hey," I say to Tobias catching his attention. He looks up from the letters and smiles.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Better," I answer. "A little tired though," I say yawning.

"I can imagine why," he says and pulls me half onto his lap.

He traces my face in silence while staring into my eyes. I place my hands around his neck and stare into his eyes. Those intense blue eyes that remain unchanged with all that's happened. He presses his lips to my forehead, and then to my lips. He places one arm around my waist and pulls me closer. This time, I kiss him harder, more desperate. It feels like if I don't hold him tight enough, he'll vanish like in one of the simulations or dreams. My heart is racing out of my chest by the time we stop to catch our breaths. Tobias grins at me and while staying in complete silence, we just hold each other.

I watch as his slight smirk drops and his eyes widen ever so lightly.

"What is it?" I question.

His gaze drops to the floor.

"While you were medicated," he raises the eyebrows at the last word, "Christina came by." I let my body lean toward the couch. I wanted to talk to her first.

"So she knows everything?" I ask.

"Just the big picture, I didn't tell her everything," Tobias answers; his blue eyes staring straight into mine. "She wants to talk to you though." I swallow in air. For some reason that I can't quite put it, I feel both pulled toward and repulsed by the idea of telling Christina what happened. I know I should though.

"I will," I say trying to end the subject. "How was your day?"

"I have to say this has been one of the most exhausting days in a while. Hard to believe a little kid can wear me out faster than the initiates."

"You'll get the hang of it. Takes some time and practice, trust me."

I look at the little boy asleep on the couch and am reminded of my responsibilities. I am no longer a carefree sixteen-year-old girl, although it's laughable to even think that I ever was carefree. As if on queue, Toby stirs awake on the couch. He sits up and scratches his eyes. As he's trying to focus his gaze, I call him.

"Hi buddy," I smile at him. His hair is messy from sleeping. He fumbles quickly toward me.

"Mom!" He joyfully exclaims and starts planting sloppy kisses on my face. Toby has so much love to give. I look at him and notice that he's wearing a toddler size dauntless 'uniform'; black pants, and a black shirt.

"Look at you wearing black," I remark.

"Do you like it?" He asks.

"I do," I answer holding his hands and planting a kiss on his forehead. He wraps his arms around my neck and I pull him onto my lap. He rests his head on my chest. I run my hand through his curls in an attempt to smoothen his hair a little. After all, that was something I learned very early on: do not brush curly hair - it only gets puffier. I hold him tighter and just as I do, my stomach growls.

"Are you hungry?" Toby asks giggling. I laugh lightly at him.

"Yes, yes I am," I say trying to sound serious, which only causes him to giggle more.

"I can make something," Tobias says.

"That sounds nice," I say.

He gets up and goes to the kitchen. Meanwhile, I half listen to what Toby is telling me. I look back at Tobias and he leans over the kitchen counter looking at me.

"What is it?" I question.

"I am out of this month's grocery supplies," he mumbles under his breath.

"That's fine. We can go the dining hall." He raises an eyebrow at me questioningly. What I think he means by the gesture is that there are going to be people around and because of that, maybe we should avoid it. I admit it, the thought of it makes my palms sweat, but everyone would know what's happened eventually.

"Are you sure?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," I say lightly.

I pick up Toby and we leave the apartment. Tobias locks the door behind us. As we walk down the hall, Tobias stops. I stop following the suit.

"This is Christina's apartment," he says pointing to the door to my right. "I can wait out with Toby. You should go see her before the entire dauntless compound figures everything out." I nod my head and put Toby down.

I knock a few times but there is no response from inside. Tobias reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lanyard with several keys on it. He picks one and unlocks the door while letting me in. This apartment is a summary of Christina. It's white with black furniture and there are pictures everywhere along with a lot of decoration.

"Christina?" I call from the living room. No answer. "I don't think she's here," I tell Tobias.

"We should get going to the dining hall in that case." I nod, and we leave.

As we reach the dining hall, the sound of music and voices blend together forming a big roar. We stop in front of the doors and I take a deep breath.

"We can go back if you want to. I can take food upstairs," Tobias says.

"No, I'm okay," I say as he looks at me one more time. I have to do this. He nods almost understandingly and pushes the door open.

The burst of chatter and loud conversations quiets as heads turn to look at me. Tobias grips my hand tighter and Toby comes slightly closer to me; he has never seen this many people in his life. Soon, whispers fill the room, but the only thing I can hear is my heart beating almost outside my chest. I look around the room not focusing on anything specific.

"Tris?" A familiar voice breaks the silence, and I look in the direction of the voice. While everyone is sitting down, Christina stands in the middle of the pathway in between the two rows of cafeteria tables. Her face has a pleading look all over it. Before anything else happens, Tobias takes Toby in his arms, and I rush to Christina, as she does the same. I sigh Into the hug with relief of being safe, with my friend. I listen to her hushed gasp as she grips me tighter and I press her a little closer to me. Zeke and Shauna come into view and I greet them happily with hugs and smiles, as Shauna discreetly urges us to sit down on the cafeteria table. I feel the stares of the people around me and blush slightly as I quietly take a seat and help Tobias place Toby on the bench. He's low on this bench too so I place him on my lap. As we settle down, so does much of the unwanted attention.

Tobias and Zeke go to get food, while I stay with Christina and Shauna catching up. They understand that I won't be able to talk about what's happened here, so they bring mundane topics to our conversation.

It is in the middle of this weird familiarity that I truly realize that I am home.


	8. Chapter 8

**So I was a little worried about this chapter because I was having a hard time writing it from both characters' perspectives, but it ended up flowing well in third person. This is a limited third person pov focused on Tobias. Leave me your thoughts on this! Also, about the points, I have to update the prizes because there has been a slight change of course in the story planning (don't worry, everyone will be fine).**

It's been a few days since Tris came back to the compound with Toby wrapped around in her embrace.

The curly haired child, who has provided Tris with so many smiles and laughter, does not bring his father the same joy. The boy is a reminder of so many things Tobias dislikes; his childhood, the possibility that he could ever be as vile as his father, the fact that Tris has always been alive and was being hurt right under his nose and he did nothing to save her, the fact that she had to mature so fast, how she has a bond with the boy and he does not, and how clear it is that if it ever came down to it, Tris would pick Toby over him in a heartbeat.

These last few days seemed like a haze to Tobias. He had- and still has- no idea what to do with a child. The day after he looked after the boy, he watched as Tris cared for him. She'd gotten him a booster seat and sat him down properly to eat. In the morning, she hadn't given Toby crackers and a muffin like he did; she gave the boy fruit, milk, and toast- something that now seemed way more adequate for a child. During bath time, she knew to tilt his head back slightly and shield his eyes from the shampoo water. Throughout the day Toby did not cry around her. He fussed, but he did not cry. He babbled, laughed, kissed her, and told stories. Unlike with Tobias, who was given Toby's silent treatment.

Everyone around them seems to adore the boy though. The Pedrads play with him almost every day, Christina and Shauna are like cool aunts who bring him cake and take him on "exploring trips" around the compound. He even calls Christina 'Aunt Tina' and she lets no one else call her Tina. Yet, he'd never even addressed Tobias by a name.

It isn't that the boy doesn't like him. It's really that Tobias hasn't tried to engage with Toby. Tris has tried to have them bond in many different ways, but mostly, Tobias just watches as she and the child start a new routine. By now, frustration seems to be sinking in with Tris.

He thinks that she doesn't need him. She's done a great job parenting without him and she is so good at what she does. She always knows what Toby needs, when he needs it, she knows how to put him to sleep, how to get him to eat what he doesn't like, and everything else in between. He was doing just fine under her care, he did not need a father before and he does not need a father now.

Especially him as a father, Tobias thinks over as he gets up from the chair he was resting on after having concluded the initiates' training session for the day. He frowns at the clock. He's pretty sure that he's already missed dinner time since he stayed long already. He marches upstairs to his apartment feeling overworked from training. As he approaches the apartment, he can hear loud voices and laughter coming from inside. He opens the door to find Uriah hidden behind the couch, Zeke in the closet, Tris under the coffee table and Hana Pedrad laughing while leaning over the kitchen counter.

"Hello, Tobias," Hana says in a tone of joy and astonishment.

"Hi Hana," he says while putting down a bag he was carrying "what's going on here?" He asks confused while looking at the three figures around his living room.

"I came to meet Toby and see Tris and it seems that the boy enjoys hide and go seek games," she says chuckling "nice having children around."

"Here I come!" A voice says from the bedroom hallway and Toby comes fumbling in his 'got cake?' Pajamas. Tobias comes around and joins Hana on the counter. The boy furrows his eyebrows searching for them and walks slowly trying to avoid making noises. He turns his torso over and finds Tris hiding under the table.

"Found you, Mama!" He exclaims victoriously as she gets out from beneath the table.

"Yes you did," she says encouragingly and tickles him which results in a burst of laughter from Toby.

When she stops, Toby gets up and continues looking around. Tris goes around the counter and gives Tobias a peck on the lips and smiles at the boy. Toby walks around the couch and squeals at the sight of Uriah. He jumps on Uri's chest and giggles.

"Be gentle, Toby," Tris reminds him.

"Oh you let him play; Uriah can handle it," Hana says with a smile. She, like the others, seems to be falling for Toby's charm.

"Now you're only missing one person," Tris says with a mischievous grin.

Uriah gets up and puts him on the floor. He looks around the room in obvious places and then opens the closet. Before he says anything, Zeke picks him up and bounces him.

"You're good at this hm?" Toby just laughs.

"Can we play again?" The boy asks.

"I think that's enough for today," Tris tells him and he pouts in response.

"If you act spoiled, we're not gonna play this anymore for a week," Tris warns and he stops. "Good. It's bed time though, so say goodnight," she tells him. Zeke gives him a goodnight kiss and so do Uriah and Hana. Tobias follows her inside with Toby.

"Tris, I'm actually gonna get something to eat really quickly. I'll be right back," he says. She nods absentmindedly as she strokes Toby's back.

He walks down to the dining hall but just at the entrance, turns right leading him straight into a bar. He barely hesitates as he sits down and orders his first drink. He has realized that Beatrice has been talking to him a little less than usual and he thinks that it's because he hasn't been giving Toby that much attention. How could he though? After his father and his mother, and not knowing that Tris was all alone in that fringe?

He orders a second drink. Perhaps it would have been easier if Toby were a girl and looked more like _her;_ he thinks to himself. Maybe he would see her as Tris and not even feel scared that he might accidentally hurt her.

What if he scars him for life? What if the boy hates him? What if Tris hates him? He would never forgive himself.

He orders a third drink and his mind is already someplace else. Tobias is not thinking straight. He thinks about going back to the apartment for a moment but dives straight back into his train of thought. He despises the fact that he cannot form any kind of bond or relationship with his son. It's terrifying for him to think about the child and even more so to interact with him.

With a hazed mind, he decides to go back to the apartment. He opens the door and spots Tris flipping through the paper on the couch.

"You took longer than I expected," she says almost relaxed and comes over to Tobias. When she does though, she smells the alcohol on this breath. "You lied to me. You said you were going to eat and you went and did this to yourself?" The anger is apparent in her tone.

"I had to think things over," Tobias says stumbling on his words. "This isn't a situation I planned to be in," he says before realizing what he's said, and that he motioned toward the hallway.

"You mean Toby?" She questions in a passive aggressive way. Tobias regretfully nods.

"Oh, so you think I planned this? Do you really think so? Because being a single teenage mother sounds like a dream." He stands there in silence just looking at her. He's drunk, but he knows better than to say something now. "Newsflash Tobias, I didn't want this before either, but I love Toby." She says matter of factly angry at the fact that he drank to solve this than talking to her about how he feels.

"And do you think that I drank when he had colic every night for months? Or when he was sick and they wouldn't give him medicine? Or when looking at him hurt so much that I didn't eat for days?" Her face flushes and her eyebrows raise.

"It's different Tris," he says raising his voice.

"How so? Because what I see is a man who is _choosing_ not to be present. A man who believes that drinking is more important than talking about things." He opens his mouth but says nothing.

"I've been trying so hard to have you just be with Toby and engage with him but you have done nothing but avoid him and ignore the fact that he is yours and he needs you,"

"It's because I can't do this, Tris. I'm not you," he raises his voice

"I can't have this- I can't have you around _my_ son."

"What are you saying?"

"We're leaving, Four. I don't want him to get attached to someone who clearly doesn't want him around," She spits. Before he can say anything, Tris turns around and grabs an old bag that used to be hers during initiation and starts putting as much of her and Toby's stuff that she can. Tobias trails after her trying to convince her to stay while mumbling apologies, but she doesn't listen. Lastly, she swings the bag over her shoulder and picks up the sleeping toddler. She looks at Tobias one last time, her face splattered with disgust, and leaves.

Desperate and disappointed in himself, Tobias knows that the best thing he can do is stay behind and let her go for the night. He's too drunk to think straight.

Thinking of possible things to say to Tris, he walks to the couch and sits down. Only when he does, he realizes that next to him is his son's most prized possession: his toy train. And from that point onto the next day, all he does is turn that train around in his hands and absently, ashamed, stare at the wall.


End file.
